. I don't want to. ♥

No Courtney, Bad girl Courtney! Stop blushing you idiot. You can't do this shit again!

But I can't stop myself from blushing. I'm so screwed.

. :) .

Maybe, just maybe I may be falling for someone new. :)

.Miserable At Best. < / 3

"Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best"

Dear Dad,
I know it's a love song. But it hits me. And it makes me think of you.
There hasn't been 1 day in the past 4 years, 4 months and 20 days that you haven't crossed my mind.
And I HATE you for it.

.Exams.

I'm fucked.
But at least I'm going to try.

.This explains everything. < / 3

One of the many reasons I love my tumblr account. It provides me with pictures like this one. Explains everything perfectly in so little words. I like it. And it's true.



Stolen from imgfave

.I'm Sorry.

Here's a list of 20 good reasons why you, and no one else should like me:

1. I complain, a lot.
2. I'm a bad student
3. I'm selfish
4. I don't think before I act
5. I'm clingy
6. I don't like change
7. I don't stick to what I say I'll do
8. I'm forgetful
9. I remember stupid little things rather than the good
10. I have a short temper
11. I'm immature
12. I get really bad mood swings
13. When I 'fall' down I manage to bring everyone with me
14. I'm a hypocrite
    
15. I lie
16. I have double standards
17. I'm mentally unstable and get jealous really easily
    
18. I hold grudges
19. I'm lazy
20. I'm fat.

I'm sorry you have to put up with me, I'm glad you do. I'm sorry I don't always stick to my word. I'm sorry I can't force myself to study. I'm sorry all I do is complain. I'm sorry I'm not good enough. I'm sorry I'll never be. I'm sorry I'd make a better artist than psychologist. I'm sorry I get low grades. I'm sorry I'm probably going to fail year 12 with 3 subjects. I'm sorry for distrusting you. I'm sorry for what I've made you do. I'm sorry I don't think anything will ever work out for 'us'. I'm sorry I'm such a failure.
I'm sorry I'm such a pessimist.

.What Happened?. ♥

I miss being able to talk to people easily... and not find it hard to make conversation.
I find it weird that we used to be able to talk for hours and hours... and still always have something to say... I find it weird that as one thing changes... everything else goes with it.
This isn't a complaint. More a worry... Something's changed and I'm not sure what it is. But I know it has...

Maybe... it was me.