Well Fuck.

Dear Ryan,
wow second letter in an hour. Aren't you special?
Actually this isn't really directed at you. It's just you need to know.
Everyone who has been hurt badly before puts up invisible walls, defenses against the outside world that they use to keep themselves safe.
Breaking these hardly works well at all and usually ends in everything getting screwed over. Now being a prime example.

(Now's the part directed at you)
You know why I never seem confident? Why I never tend to say anything unless forced into it by others? Because that is one of my defense mechanisms. I play safe, I wont say anything of my own accord unless it absolutely has to be said. I was quite content in letting this attraction pass, you weren't.
God, I've been such a bitch lately... and you nor anyone else deserves it.
Everything is breaking down and my defensive walls are crumbling. In short shit's happening that I can't control and I'm changing even more into something I hate.
You know I can't stand not talking to you, you know I'm a selfish, self-righteous bitch, with ridiculous mood swings and a weird ass memory.
I honestly don't know what's come over me lately.. I'm so sorry you've had to face the brunt of it without warning, without a chance and without me thinking even. You probably get sick of me apologising... I just don't think.
You are awesome, an amazing friend... The person who's name was down first on the list of people I intend on making sure I stay in contact with once high school is over.
Man, I'm such a fucking bitch. Everything is always about me, we hardly talk about you anymore.
Courty.

.Not Actually A Letter. ♥

Dear Ryan,
Honestly I don't understand you. You make me freaking crazy.
This is not a kind letter, oh no it's not.
You do stupid little things and they drive me nuts.
You INSIST on making me say stuff or admitting to stuff I don't really want to.
To be honest you drive me up the wall.
Playing around to make me admit that I like you was a DICK MOVE.
Even more so when we both know you have no intention to use the information for anything more beneficial than an ego boost for you.
I don't like being the person you just go to when your 'level' is high. Fuck, wait til it reaches peak and go screw a guy.
I don't like feeling like you're using me for when there's no one else. You know there's issues with that..
Honestly.. this is all about last night and how weird you acted today. Not cool.
You know I can't ever stay angry at you. But seriously... hurting me? That's just a little too far.

.Letter Nine. ♥

.Letter. 9 — someone you wish you could meet

Dear Mark,

You have been waiting for this letter for such a long time… To be honest I’m not even sure what to say. You can most of the time make my day, and you’re oddly enough one of the few people that can make me smile even without meaning to. You’re so good and easy to talk to, and there’s times when having you be the frist to say anything to me is the only thing that has made me smile in a while. I’m sorry that I make you worry, or when I’ve upset you. When I say it, genuinely don’t worry about me, I’m a big girl… I can take care of myself. I go through periods of not really talking and getting really talkative.

But your care and you time wasted on me means a lot. I’m sorry for not being there for you as much as I should be. And I’m really sorry that I make you worry. Hopefully sometime in the upcoming few holidays we can meet and form a band like you said with me as the singer :P

Courtney. ♥

Courtney Grace

.Letter Eight. ♥

"The internet is a powerful tool"

Well of course it is, where else would we buy our pre-written essays? or find new pedo like stalkers? first two ideas that came to mind as my teacher lectured us more.

.Letter.8 — your favorite internet friend

Dear Nikki,

We’ve been friends over the internet for many years now, 3 to be exact. We’ve gone through a lot together, and we’ve told each other pretty much everything since we met. I miss being able to talk to you all the time and sharing our ever so random stories. I remember how we meant quite easily. Basically one of the pictures I posted on DA needed a colour scheme and you said it’d look good in blue.. either way it ended up pink. From then on we started talking and ever since talking to you has been one of the highlights of my times. Sharing stories about boys, experiences, secrets we can’t bear to tell anyone else and developing a sisterhood between us. I love you; you are like a sister and never forget it.

From, your favourite little sister,

Courtney

Dear Devlyn,

My dearest uke, where would I be without my little uke? Talking to you when I can brightens up my day and somehow you always manage to make me blush.

Just to let you know how much fun you make DA stalking and your ideas seem.

Courtney

.Letter Seven. ♥

"I love you."
"No you don't.. we're teenagers, we don't know what love is."
"No I'm serious.. I love you."

.Letter. 7 — your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Dear ex,
I hate you end of story. One, you do not tell a girl that you love her just to get into her pants. Two, you don’t then dump and subsequently start dating one of her best friends. Three, you NEVER ask someone out on a rebound from someone else.
That is all.

.Courtney Grace. <3

omfg.

leave me alone seriously.
I've CHANGED since I was 8. God.
STOP YELLING AT ME!