.Jersey. ♥

Because Jersey just got colder and I'll have you know I'm scared to death that everything you had said to me was just a lie until you left, now I'm hoping just a little bit stronger, hold me up just a little bit longer, I'm just gone beyond repair.

One song and yet a thousand meanings. Let me explain, one of my all time favourite songs and it was introduced to me by a guy who lead me on and played me. Fun eh?
I don't know why, but it's all I've wanted to listen to lately, and yet it still reminds me of this douche who recorded an acoustic version of it and sent it to me.
It kinda brings me back to remembering not to get my hopes up, and reminds me why this year in particular I've had a lot harder time getting along with guys in general and guys that I've been attracted to.

I guess that brings me to my current concern, the guy I like now. He's proving difficult to get to know, and I really don't understand him what so ever. I don't know whether to wait and see what happens, wait it out or simply just force myself to stop liking him. Sadly the most difficult option is the last. Because there's all the 'what if' scenarios.
Guess he just acted weird when I saw him today but random coincidence.

Ergh, just so much stuff on my mind. And yeah, no one to really tell it all to that can help. Stupid everything.

.ToyStory, ♥

'When I was little my mother tried to throw away all my toys because I refused to clean them up. So she threw them all in the bin and I turned around and said "Well Father Christmas will bring me new ones!" that's how my older sister found out that he wasn't real...' a sly smile appeared on her face as she told the story for the thousandth time.


Pretty sure those words have a thousand new meanings and emotions attached to them. Funnily enough it didn't take me long to associate the words 'Toy Story' to a few things that came in similar. And for some reason the dirtiest sentence just buzzed into mind, which I will never repeat out loud.
Lets just say, I'm happy for now and where I'm at with it all. :)



Also, yes I've gone back to starting my posts the same way I used to, with bits and pieces that are meant to sound like they're from a story.
And I finally got my new keyboard and hello kitty mouse :D

.This is who I am. ♥

I complain.
I can be total idiot.
I'm a cluts.
I'm an emo kid, non conforming as can be ;D.
I over use emoticons.
I've lied.
I've broken promises.
I'm furthest away from perfect you'll ever find.
I have low self esteem.
I act happy when I'm not.
I worry too much.
I guilt trip people, a lot.
I argue with people.
I bitch when someone has annoyed me.

I love my friends.
I'm loyal to my friends.
I try to stay impartial in friend fights.
I sneeze loudly.
I put rips in my clothes.
I wear sunnies on my head at night if I go out.
I love the movies.
I love summer but not over heating.
I'm sarcastic.
I'm loyal.
I'm the person people love to hate.
I'm popular.
I'm a loner.
I'm random.
I'm romantic.
I'm heartless.


I am and can be all of the above, but I'm me. And as much as when I get down, I hate myself to no end; and wish I turned out the teenager I thought I would be as a child. I'm glad I am who I am, it makes me recognisable. It means I leave an imprint.
If anyone, which I doubt anyone will reads this. Next time I fake a smile, or force myself to laugh. Remind me of this post.

.For all the friends I don't deserve. ♥

.Yeah and fuck you too. ♥

So I was having an excellent day until I got back home from work.
My older sister asked me to pick up my little sister from kindy tomorrow.
When I said no she spazzed out about how much of a lazy bitch I am, when my reason for saying no was I HAVE WORK. I'm so sorry that I start at the time that she needs to be picked up. I'm sorry it takes me around half an hour to walk up there. I'm sorry I'm going to need to leave at fifteen past two to get to work on time. I'm so sorry I worked eight days straight last week. I'm so sorry I've slept in for two days in a row.
You have THREE sifts this week and didn't work at all last week. I had EIGHT shifts in a row last week and not pissy little THREE hour ones like YOU DO. I had at least FOUR EIGHT OUR SHIFTS. YOU NEVER WORK THAT LONG!

So yeah, I wont pick her up tomorrow because I have work. Least I'm not leaving you to think I have work when going shopping instead. So FUCK YOU TOO~