Now that just hurts

Long time since my last bitchy, complainy, woe is me, give me attention, I'm a little emo fuck post.
Seriously, life has actually been good... well apart from becoming a cripple.
Everything has settled down, I got into uni for midyear start, I was getting good grades at school... but yeah

back to the bad stuff.
Rejected by my two favourite people within 5 minutes of eachother? I mean one rejection yeah sure, fine. But from BOTH?! that just hurts.
Oh well, time to beg forgiveness from one.
Hurrrrrrr.

Life was good.


Up until this point.

.Flaws. ♥

Everyone has their flaws, each person has their one hidden away fatal flaw, but no matter how hidden they exist.
Me? I prefer to lay mine out on the table for all to see.
I'm unstable, clingy, a total bitch, I'm untrusting of people, along with my general psychotic-ness... Simply to name a few.
People think I'm rather OCD about spelling and grammar; which in actual fact is not true. Because I have a lot of trouble with spelling, to a point that you wouldn't believe.
Like I've said, everyone has flaws. Fatal flaws and minor. My most fatal flaw is my lack of trust in my friends, and it has wrecked quite a few friendships. Although one in particular just rebuilds stronger; which is always a massive plus.
The biggest thing about flaws is actually whether you choose to smother them in shame or embrace them. Hide them away or shout them loud and proud.
Because as much as your positive attributes make you a person in your own right, it's your flaws that make you unique.

.More than lately. ..

It's just been getting on my nerves as to how people treat each other.
And how people think things through.
There is ALWAYS an easier way.

. Just Sometimes. =/

Just sometimes...
although it hasn't been very long.
I feel like YOU act more like his girlfriend than I do.
And it kinda bites.
And it's times and situations like this that kinda shows that.
Jus' saying. Just sometimes. It makes me feel like I'm stealing my own boyfriend from someone else. And I haven't done that.
I definitely haven't stolen him from you. Because you have your OWN boyfriend.
So why the fuck do I feel like this?

.Milk. ♥

Well milk, you can drink it like I do
or ONLY have it in coffee
but, get the taste of pure milk on your lips and you need to have it.
Just as it is.

So I kinda have this amazing boyfriend Aidan, who I have by chance just managed to spend the past 28 hours with.
And I like him a lot, his nerdiness (which is really cute!), his dark brown eyes and adorable expressions. I love the way he speaks, it's rather unique. I do very much so like everything about him.
I like him and want him,
Just as he is.


So I am, for a masterful change quite over the moon, indubitably happy.
All because of one,
singular,
amazing,
spectacular,
boy named,
Aidan

♥


.Court.

. A Teddy Bear. ♥

It always hurts when someone moves away... Even if you know you'll see them in a few months.

One of the people who in the past few months has become one of my best friends, and can distract me when I need it most is moving to QLD on Tuesday
Tonight... well tonight was her going away party. And I was fine all night, fine in the car home, fine walking through the house, fine walking into my room. Fine until I saw the doodled on teddy bear another friend and her gave to me for my 17th.... when I almost instantly started crying.

It's only a few months, it'll be alright. ♥

.Jersey. ♥

Because Jersey just got colder and I'll have you know I'm scared to death that everything you had said to me was just a lie until you left, now I'm hoping just a little bit stronger, hold me up just a little bit longer, I'm just gone beyond repair.

One song and yet a thousand meanings. Let me explain, one of my all time favourite songs and it was introduced to me by a guy who lead me on and played me. Fun eh?
I don't know why, but it's all I've wanted to listen to lately, and yet it still reminds me of this douche who recorded an acoustic version of it and sent it to me.
It kinda brings me back to remembering not to get my hopes up, and reminds me why this year in particular I've had a lot harder time getting along with guys in general and guys that I've been attracted to.

I guess that brings me to my current concern, the guy I like now. He's proving difficult to get to know, and I really don't understand him what so ever. I don't know whether to wait and see what happens, wait it out or simply just force myself to stop liking him. Sadly the most difficult option is the last. Because there's all the 'what if' scenarios.
Guess he just acted weird when I saw him today but random coincidence.

Ergh, just so much stuff on my mind. And yeah, no one to really tell it all to that can help. Stupid everything.