.Letter Eleven. ♥

.Letter. 11 — a deceased person you wish you could talk to

Oh man… I can’t even think of how to start either of these letters. Even thinking about them is making me tear up... But they need to be done.

The most dreaded letter of them all.

Dear Grandad,

Well, it’s been 7 years now… Seven long, tiring, sad years. It’s weird, all I have to do is think about you and I instantly start crying… One would think the pain and sadness would have stemmed by now… but it hasn’t. In a way I’m still the 10 year old child I was when you left… Just a bit different in looks and know how. I still remember the last day I saw you, how pale and exhausted you looked… But you forced yourself into a smile just for me… well us. Because we weren’t going to be with you that weekend. Some of the happiest most amazing times in my life have involved you in some way…

Remember that Easter that you and Grandma came over for in Perth? And we one the first prize in the school Easter raffle? And you told me to not eat all my chocolate on the one day because I’d get sick… and I proved you wrong? Or swimming in the small pool we had… or watching you dive in from the shallow end to the deep in one big swoop.

Grandad, you were always so strong, so inspiring, so lively… so cuddly! It’s weird looking through the photos from when I was young and seeing just how alive you were… your eyes shined brighter than the first star in the sky, and more amazingly so when Grandma was around. It’s thanks to you that I believe in love, and that sometimes it’s worth breaking the rules for someone you love.

When I see the photos from just after you were diagnosed that life, and love that shone so amazingly in your eyes, seems to have dashed behind a cloud… All the joy and happiness that they held gone.

Man oh man, now I really am roaring. I hope you know exactly how much I miss you, and wish that you were still here… You were taken too soon, and I still need you. You, my dear Grandfather understood me like no other. You knew me a little better than everyone else, simply because we were so alike.

There was this one day in Bunnings a few years ago, and mum and I were looking at roses… she allowed me to pick one. I picked the peace rose… not entirely sure why I had at the time.. But something just clicked and I wanted it above all the others…turns out you made sure that you had peace roses in every garden that you had, because they were your favourites.

With all the misguided, misplaced love I have,

Your Granddaughter,

Courtney